a signpost

dia bilang,

kalau ada gembira,

beritahu dia dulu.

dia bilang,

kalau ada sedih,

beritahu dia dulu.

dia bilang,

walau apa pun yang berlaku,

beritahu pada dia dulu,

bukannya yang lain.

there was one day, i became obedient. i tried to follow the words above and i tried to do the right one.

i was very angry at that time. i can feel the veins of my forehead were standing out. but on that day, i tried to be calm. i tried to hide my anger by showing that fake smile. you know, that smile yang macam kau nak marah tapi tak jadi sebab benda tu pun salah kau jugak. benda yang paling legend, i put my hands around my mouth for all the times, trying to not letting out any single cursing words to that friend of mine. (yes, aku memang kadang-kadang cakap lepas). then i let my ears to withstand the 100% volume of the music played on my laptop. ya Rabbi. i do endured the anger until the end of the meeting. 

i really need somebody to talk. and at that time, i remember all your words before. so, i didnt express my feelings to another friend of mine. i was at the library, but my brain kept telling me to lie down immediately; another method to reduce the anger. how am i suppose to golek-golek there if i have to finish up the bloody hell assignment at that moment?! so i just waited for their signal to end up the meeting. thank god, they did so.  walaupun kerja aku tak siap, the anger was still there. pendekkan cer,  untuk elak jadi benda yang tak elok, aku balik sorang-sorang, konon nak merawat hati yang lara la. cewah. masa dalam perjalanan tu, kira aku jadi macam orang yang heartless gila. i dont talk with people when i am angry, so i preferred the cats. 

jadi, untuk hari itu saja, i managed to entitle myself as the new YB for the stray cats in my uni. semua kucing yang ada kat tepi jalan, aku tegur dan borak-borak dengan dorang. bunyi macam bangang, tapi tu la benda yang jadi . (pedulik apa aku masa tu. -..-")

well,  i think that it was my "greatest" day ever. 

p/s: luruskan ibu jari tangan dan luruskan juga jari telunjuk. lagi tiga jari, genggam kuat-kuat sambil pandang cermin dan jerit kuat-kuat : "I'M SUCH A LOSER!"